Lotus, the shell, and the part I don't want to lose.
HELIOS Club siblings, I'm Pham Danh Quang, and I'm thrilled to share a part of my experience with everyone in this blog!
Recalling my early university years, I once coincidentally worked part-time at a cat café on the same alley as the HELIOS store on Le Thanh Nghi street.
The first product I owned was the Bruce ring, bought on a certain platform, but it was the wrong size, so I walked to the store to exchange it. That time, I also picked up the Time Lotus. Then, looking back and forth, my eyes landed on Secluded, but at that time, I couldn't afford to take it home.
I took the ring home with a clear obsession: I absolutely had to get the Secluded ring. So Quang decided to scoop cat poop until his hands hurt, and his shovel wore out to earn money, and finally, he owned it.
After a while, I accidentally scrolled and saw the River bracelet. At that time, I was working and interning, and my finances were better, so I decided to buy it immediately. Before my excitement could subside, my father helped me buy the River necklace to complete the set.
The more I looked at those angular patterns, the more captivated I became, and the more I felt they suited me. From then on, I decided to collect only the Lotus line from HELIOS.
At this point, I want to share and confide a little deeper with my fellow Club members.
There's a seemingly simple question: If today you stopped trying to be a better version of yourself, who would you be?
Many people don't dare to answer that question, because they might discover that most of their lives are built on the expectations of others: what their parents want, what society needs, what social media praises.
I used to live very correctly, very well, very efficiently. The only problem was that I didn't feel like I was truly living.
My story began like that. No major incidents, no collapses, no one abandoned me. It was just one day I realized I was performing exceptionally well in a play that I couldn't remember signing up for.
That was the first moment when my social self conflicted with my inner self. It didn't make me stronger immediately. It made me confused first, lonely first, disoriented first. I felt something gradually changing, but I didn't know who I would become.
I started to fear my old self. Not because it was bad, but because I knew that if I went back to living like before, I would betray myself.
Every person builds a shell for themselves to exist in society. That shell helps us be accepted, recognized, and safe. That shell is not bad. Without it, we would hardly be able to live among others.
But the problem began when I identified myself with that shell. When I could no longer distinguish between the role and the real person.
I used to learn to adjust myself to be recognized, loved, and not to make anyone sad. But gradually, I found that it created a dangerous habit: I only felt valuable when others were satisfied.
My journey of individuation began when those habits stopped working. Not because I was no longer capable of pleasing others, but because I was no longer willing to pay the price.
That price was exhaustion. It was constantly moving away from my true feelings. It was not knowing what I liked, what I wanted, what I needed, because I was too used to asking others first.
That journey made me lose the image of being easily loved. I disappointed some people. I no longer fit into relationships based on one-sided sacrifice.
I realized more things. There were times of yielding when I stopped, others called it selfishness. There were people who were used to me always being present, and when I chose to be absent, they called it indifference.
But the truth is, I understand: sometimes they are just reacting to the loss of a familiar privilege.
My journey didn't teach me to be cold. It taught me to be honest with myself, honest with my emotions, honest with my limits, and honest with the truth that I was not born to be a tool to soothe other people's emotions.
That journey has no shortcuts. Nor is there a gentler version. It's uncomfortable, lonely, but the reward I get is much more valuable.
Everyone has a shell. Coexist with it, but don't become it.
Perhaps these shares will spark a dark corner that you haven't dared to confront. Or perhaps, you just read for fun, depending on each person's perspective.
As for me, a small corner of my inner self has been and is being expressed through my preferences.
I will go all in with the Lotus set, because I don't like superficiality.
"Rising from the dark mud, the lotus distills brilliant essence, standing proudly between heaven and earth, untainted."
Article by Pham Danh Quang - HELIOS Club member
